Christmas

Christmas has always been different in our household, for many reasons and this year especially. We didn't even decorate a tree this year. My fondest memory of Conlan and Christmas was a couple years ago. The night before, Santa set everything out and went to bed just after midnight. Conlan, as has always been the case, woke up early in the morning with nowhere near the recommended amount of sleep for a child. I think it was about 4:30. He woke us up holding the set of puzzles we got him. You know those wood puzzles with animals or numbers or cars. He wanted us to open them immediately and wouldn't leave us alone until we did. He spent the whole day playing with his puzzles. I think that was the year we got him a little Thomas tunnel/fort thingy. He would sit in the fort with his puzzles.

Christmas this year was spent at Hilary's parents. It was a very stressful time for all of us, but we were grateful to be with family. We left Friday evening and drove through the night while the kids slept. Not far from home, the snow started flurrying. Then it turned into a blizzard. (Note to self: take the other route during the winter that is about 80 miles longer). It probably took only a half hour longer than the longer, less mountainous route would have taken. We arrived at about 7 AM and were exhausted but excited to be there. Being at her parents, I have always felt at home and will forever miss being there. Hilary had been able to get a short nap during the long haul, so I laid down and fell promptly asleep. It didn't last more than 10 minutes before something woke me up. No longer able to sleep, I helped as best I could with the kids and getting stuff out of the van. Then I think I went to the farm and helped collect eggs.
Saturday night, his cousins had a birthday party at a Pump-it-Up type place. Conlan's favorite! Right before leaving, the kids were outside running around. I went to check on them and saw Conlan jumping on the pool cover. It felt exactly like the time I found our dog in the pool, floating but limp, the last time we spent Christmas at their place five years ago. The images and memories came flooding vividly back of that accident, not at first but within the hour. I am so grateful they finally got a pool cover after that and hold some resentment they didn't have it before. The pool was all fenced in and locked, but Conlan still found a way in. He probably thought it was a big trampoline, evidenced by his jumping up and down on it. If I had found him a few minutes later, I'm afraid the tarp-like cover would have given in. He just doesn't understand danger no matter how much we warn him and explain to him.

Since Hilary and I were both tired, we rode with her parents in their van. When we arrived at Pump-it-Up, Gavin was sleeping, and I was still in shock from the pool incident. So I stayed in the van while Gavin got some much-needed sleep, and so I could gather myself. He started stirring a short while later, so we went in and found the party. Conlan was having a blast, going on the same bouncy house slide over and over again. They had the regular lighting off and black lights on making for a surreal experience. If I had known, I would have worn something cooler for the cosmic lighting. Hilary's outfit looked real good in the uv light.

Christmas this year was much like last year. Gavin had a blast opening presents, sometimes Conlan's presents as well. Conlan just wasn't very interested in opening presents. I tried using hand-over-hand to get him to unwrap a present, but he just had other things to do, other things on his mind. Those "other" things included stripping naked because it was so hot in the house, putting his hand in other people's drinks, finding mountain dew or any can of soda to drink, sitting on dad's shoulders for seemingly indefinite periods of time, eating whatever frosting and candy he could find, or just wandering around on the periphery of the congregation of people. He is so very similar to me - crowds of people and lots of noise bother me. So I like to stay on the outskirts of the action and watch from afar.

The main present we got him was roller skates with protective gear. A couple months ago, I was outside playing with him. Some kids from the neighborhood were playing and had roller blades on. Seeing them, Conlan went berserk. He had so much fun watching and chasing them around. He hasn't shown much interest in skating on his own. When we put the skates on him and "walk" him around he has fun, but nowhere near as much fun as he had that day back in October chasing the neighborhood kids. He would rather watch and chase than participate directly.

Lights and action

Last night we made the trip to go see the Christmas lights at the temple.  The drive was an hour long because of traffic and only one missed turn. Gavin fell asleep not long after we left, but Conlan fought sleep the whole way there. He loves car rides.  We thought that he would fall asleep, especially after eating his cheeseburger.  But he didn’t eat much of the cheeseburger. A few months ago, he finally started eating cheeseburgers; until then it was usually only chicken nuggets that he would eat from the fast food joints. He was definitely hungry – I hope he’s not feeling depressed.  Anyway, back to the drive. Conlan has always loved car rides. Not the car ride itself necessarily, but sitting in his car seat. We noticed this a while ago, and have often put him in his car seat (either still in the car or in the living room) to calm him down.  It has prevented or disrupted many a meltdown.  He’s kind-of like our Pookie that liked enclosed, tight spaces.  Conlan often hides behind us on the couch or under a pillow.  He likes when I lay on him – I’m careful not to put my whole weight on him, though.

Anyway, we made it to the temple grounds. Elders were directing the traffic to available parking spots. We put the kids in the double stroller and were on our way.  We walked around, took some pictures. Most of the time, Conlan was on my shoulders making it difficult to get a picture that wasn’t blurry.  He jabbered quite a bit while we were there. We try to make it a point every Christmas season to let him see a lot of Christmas lights. They seem to mesmerize him, just as lights outside the car when we are driving in the dark. After a while, he decided to take off his hoodie.  We had brought him a coat, but he wouldn’t keep that on and we had to settle for the hoodie. We had seen everything and had been there about a half hour, so we decided it was time to go, since he wouldn’t keep his jacket on.

Back in their seats, we headed home.  This time Conlan fell asleep and it took only about 40 minutes to drive the 25-ish miles home.  Once home, Conlan woke up but climbed in bed and fell asleep. He went to bed without melatonin!  I hope he had a good night’s rest.

 

 

So anyway, that was the ‘lights’ portion of the post.  The action part involves his latest behavior. He doesn’t like wearing clothes. Definitely not at Church.  We’ve tried getting him clothes that don’t bother or irritate him. That has helped, but it’s so difficult to find clothes warm enough that he’ll wear, and with a decent price tag. Every time he does strip, I take a step back and consider whether or not I am reinforcing the behavior. It’s been helpful to get out of myself and my emotions whenever he acts out.

We are very grateful for all the progress he has recently shown.  He has really started helping Hilary in many ways. A while ago, I posted how he was helping me with pancakes. He continues to help with pancakes, whether Hilary is ready for the extra batter on the pan or not. He’s also been real good for us when he needs a diaper change. Sometimes he does take off the diaper himself.  That is sometimes a good thing, except when it’s a messy one and he smears the waste on the wall, blankets, clothes, bed, etc. He has been doing real well and learning a lot. Much of his progress, we contribute to full-day attendance at school.  His teacher and aides are great and very patient.

ABA Workshop

We signed up for an ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) Workshop for parents.  Hilary didn't feel like going, so I gladly went.  The local school district hosted and presented it. The teacher was one of the district's specialists that works with the students in the district. When I got to the address, I went inside the building and followed everyone else and sat down.  The presentation started and I quickly deduced I was in the wrong room - I didn't need to know about superintendents and stuff about the district board!  So I left, and followed another group of people, this group was also in the wrong room looking for the ABA workshop.  Before leaving, though, I was sure to grab some cocoa and cookies!  We went up a couple floors and found the right room. The instructors introduced themselves and started talking about meltdowns and ABA. Wahoo! I was in the right place, and I had my cookies too. :)

facial hair and school

In honor of Movember, I've been growing out my facial hair. Conlan has absolutely loved it. He likes to run his hands, arms, and face along my beard. He just laughs and giggles and squeals. He is definitely very tactile. So if I start to look like a bum, know it's for a couple good causes.

Yesterday, in Conlan's daily report we got a notice that his day was a very tough one. Not only did he bite some of the aides, but he also pulled the fire alarm. I've always wondered what would happen if I pulled the alarm. I can only imagine what must have been going through his mind. Here's for hoping that tomorrow will be better!

Doorbells

From downstairs, we were having trouble hearing the doorbell. So at Lowe's we purchased a doorbell extender. It cost almost $30, a lot more than what I remember my parents paying for such a device a few years ago (okay, it was about 15 years ago, so with inflation...). Anyway, I installed it yesterday and almost immediately knew I'd have to adjust the sensitivity or maybe turn it off altogether. After setting it up and testing it, I went back downstairs on my merry way. Then Conlan, playing on the main floor got excited about his show. When he's either silly tired or super excited, he likes to scream. You guessed it, his screaming set off the doorbell downstairs. I wonder if Hilary's tired of it yet or not.

Parent teacher conference

Conlan had fall break this week. With the hurricane last week and fall break this week, that's two weeks in a row that he hasn't had school on Monday and Tuesday. As part of fall break, his school held parent teach conferences on Monday, and we met with his teacher that morning. I was amazed at how quickly his teacher and the aides have gotten to know Conlan. They know he likes to play with the water. They know he likes hugs and is touchy, very affectionate.  He doesn't like wearing shoes or socks.  He's a picky eater.  He's sneaky: when he thinks you're not watching he'll make his escape or start playing with water.  He's very aware of when he can get away with things.  They put up a gate so he couldn't go out the door - he's a very fast runner (another characteristic inherited from his dad ;) ).  One time he went to leave, saw the gate after opening the door, and gave up even though he often climbs the gate.  He just didn't feel like expending the extra energy to scale up and over the gate.

Halloween, dog food, and pancakes

I realize those three items in the title don’t normally go together, but with Conlan who knows!

This last weekend I made pancakes for the family.  Conlan was famished and really wanted his pancakes.  So he tried to help dad with the pancakes to somehow speed up the process.  The first pancake was almost ready to flip over. He must have wanted a bigger pancake, for he grabbed the cup, filled it with batter and proceeded to pour it onto the the half-cooked pancake already in the pan.  Of course some of it dribbled onto the counter on its way to the pan.  I had turned around or been working on something else and didn’t catch him.  The first-pancake-of-the-batch-never-turns-out-right” rule definitely applied here.  He still ate it for leftovers the next day though.  On my guard and ready this time, I helped him pour the next pancake. For this, my ears received screams of glee.  He loves pouring just about anything, not just water, and pancake batter is no exception.  He got real good at it and didn’t need much help by the time the batter ran out, though I did catch him a few times trying to add extra batter to pancakes that were still cooking.  Sure it was a little messier letting him pour the batter, but the pancakes still tasted the same and cleanup didn’t take that much longer.  Ever since he was about 1 year old, he has always loved eating pancakes, waffles, french toast and the like.  If you can put syrup on it, he’ll eat it (or just plain syrup too).