Peaceful

Once again, asleep in the car seat. He got up pretty early and after a short walk and a car ride, he was out. I love watching him sleep; he looks so peaceful. He has been growing a lot lately, sleeping and eating a lot.

Dog house

A few days ago, I was in the backyard with the kids after a walk around the neighborhood.  First Conlan got into the dog house, and then Gavin trying to be like his big brother, joined him.  Dewi, our male corgi, joined in on the fun too.  I wish I had taken a picture of all three in there!  Conlan seems to like tight enclosed spaces almost as much as our late Pookie, Romney aka the short-legged sled dog.

Phases

For a few days now, I've been wondering what to write for the next post. After much thought, I'd like to write about various things that Conlan does or used to do; phases that he has gone through.  Here are some that I could think of, not in any particular order.

• shirt sucking (he has ruined a few shirts cause he sucks on them so much)
• fecal smearing
• squeezing Gavin's neck
• having us talk in his ear (This worried us a lot and so we had his hearing checked.  His hearing is fine, but I still wonder why he was having us talk into his ear.)
• spitting his drink out
• screaming, sometimes just to irritate us. :)

Most of these he still occasionally does.  Thankfully, he hasn't engaged in fecal smearing for quite a while.  There are others.  I just can't think of them right now.

I've been trying to think of things he likes to do to use as rewards for doing something well.  So here are some things that he just likes to do.  

• have us kiss his arms
• feel my whiskers
• run
• JUMP (there's a Sesame Street episode where Grover learns how to jump, from the cow that jumped over the moon - it's one of his favorite shows).
• he loves car rides.  Recently, I remembered how when I was frustrated or angry, I would go on a car ride, and that would calm me.  He is so much like me in so many aspects.  He loves looking out the window and watching. For a while, we brought his car seat into the house and used it to calm him when he had a meltdown.
• riding the bus
• play with water.  He especially likes pouring water (or wine as was the case at a work party last week) back and forth.
• He is very oral and likes chewing on chewy stuff. We got a pack of squishy lizards at the zoo for him.  We got chewelry for him, but he didn't like it.

Once we stayed at a hotel and asked for a first-floor room just so that he wouldn't disturb (jumping and screaming) anybody below us.  They didn't have any rooms available on the first floor at the rate we paid, so we asked to be put away from anybody else, and they said they would.  They still put somebody below us.  Lo and behold, the neighbors from below complained, and they had us move to another room.  The new room was bigger and much nicer, so there were no complaints from us.

And some other things we deal with on a daily basis.

• uncontrollable laughing or crying (sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night and just laugh and laugh and laugh for no apparent reason - which is better than when he wakes up boo-hooing or screaming).
• he's a very picky eater.  He'll eat just the sausage, and often the cheese too, from a pizza.
• instead of telling us what he wants, he'll grab our hand and lead us to the kitchen if he's hungry or thirsty.  Or he'll push us to the destination.

There is so much I'm sure I have missed.  I'll add to the lists as my mind recollects and/or observes new items.

Water and balloons

We think and hope we have the water issues under control.  In an earlier post I talked about how Conlan loves to pour water back and forth.  That's just fine except when it ends up on the floor, in the garbage can, in the diaper genie, or anywhere else aside from the sink. We put the garbage can in the front closet, out of the kitchen.  So what does he do?  He tries filling the diaper genie with water. So we move the diaper genie.What's next? We'll just try to keep an eye on him, keep him out of the kitchen  when we're not there with him.  At the work party yesterday, he tried pouring my water into a soda can.  I don't think the boss appreciated Conlan pouring water onto his nice coffee table.  Conlan also had fun grabbing people's wine glasses and pouring their wine into cups.  Thankfully, he didn't spill any of the wine.

Another obsession of Conlan's is balloons.  Give him a balloon, and he'll have you fill it up over and over and over again.   If it weren't for my super-strong lungs, I'm sure I would've passed out ages ago. He has been trying to blow the balloons up by himself.  He loves to feel the balloon grow as I fill it up. And of course, he won't let me tie it because he loves to either watch it fly around or hold it and feel the air as it comes out.  When we took him to get diagnosed, the doctor used a balloon as part of the assessment.  Before then, I don't think he had ever played with balloons.  I remember how Conlan liked that part of the appointment the most and pestered the doctor for the balloon when he put it away or hid it.

The magical fruit

We got out the beans and let the kids go to town. They had lots of fun, and for the most part, the beans stayed in the tub. Yeah right...

School

Well it was Conlan's first week of Kindergarten. Dropping him off and picking him up has been very frustrating for Hilary. It is such a big school, there isn't any economical way to get all the students to and from school. It will be so nice when his bus starts picking him up.

Today (Monday 10 Sep), the bus picked him up.  He and Gavin were so excited to see the bus.  Conlan had the biggest grin on his face when he got home, and of course, he had taken off his shoes on the bus.

The start

The past few months I have been reading a few blogs created by parents of autistic children. Autism daddy has been inspiring. Autism with a side of fries is a newer one. Reading their and many other stories,I began to want a blog of my own, mainly for selfish reasons. They past few months I have been searching for some creative outlet. In junior high I played the baritone (similar to a tuba), and for years, I've wanted to get back into that. I'm afraid though what the neighbors will think and don't want to bother them.  And it will cost a few hundred bucks to just get started. So this blog will be my creative outlet. I also love attention - maybe complete strangers will start following, offering advice, and giving praise and encouragement. So yeah, I'm selfish but am doing this for our son too. And maybe, just maybe some other parent out there will identify with our experiences or learn from them. And maybe it will help reduce the stares and disapproval from strangers in public when an autistic child is having a meltdown or just acting differently than other children. Maybe he'll read it some day and be grateful I recorded so many embarrassing moments of his life for the whole world to see. ;)

Conlan just turned five. It has been two years since his diagnosis. What a rollercoaster it has been! A few friends had told us they thought he might be autistic before we finally took him to the specialist. Being first-time parents we thought he was normal,neurotypical. Expressing gratitude for their suggestion, we dismissed the idea that our beautiful son could be sick. Because the autism we knew about was what they show in movies. Our son was and is nothing like that. And  I hate to admit it, . . . but we probably had some denial going on. At 18 months to two years of age, Conlan had a decent vocabulary, about 20 words. But then over the next year, he stopped speaking altogether. No longer would he say "Elmo" or "yellow".  So yeah, there were signs, but we just didn't know what was normal. We didn't know what to look for and expect.

At the specialist's we learned that he exhibited so many more signs of autism than we expected or even knew to look for. We had thought his development was typical, normal, or just a little behind with nothing to worry about. We have learned so much since then. And the contrast between him and his younger brother is amazing, more amazing than what is typical between two siblings I suppose. We love them both and wouldn't change or return either of them.